The Resentment Trap

What Happens When You Live on Autopilot

It’s 5:45 PM. I was supposed to leave the office 20 minutes ago, which even then would’ve only gotten me into the tail end of the school pick-up line.

I rush to the car, and just as I slam the door shut, I hear that all-too-familiar ping. Another email. Reflexively, I open it: a client asking to reschedule tomorrow’s 1:1.

“Sure, John. I can make that work,” you type, even though it clashes with your annual wellness visit.

It’s fine, the voice in your head says. Dr. Green always runs 15 minutes late anyway.

As you weave through traffic, you call home.

“Did you remember to put the lasagna in the oven?”

“No…you asked me to do that?” your husband replies.

“Yes,” you say tightly. “I reminded you this morning.”

“Oh, I didn’t hear you. I’ll put it in now.”

“No. It won’t be ready until 8 if you do that. It’s fine. I’ll figure something out.”

You do a quick mental inventory - okay, enough veggies for a fast stir fry.

After a 30-minute whirl in the kitchen, it’s on to nighttime routines. Your body and brain are ready to shut down.
I guess I’ll try that YouTube Pilates class tomorrow... again.

Hours later, the house is finally quiet. You crawl into bed, but sleep doesn’t come.
Because you know tomorrow - it starts all over again.

Sound familiar?

This was my life on autopilot.

And what’s wild is that from the outside, it looked like I had it all together:
Great job. Beautiful family. A calendar full of plans and productivity.

But inside, I was slowly disappearing.

I didn’t realize it then, but I was stuck in The Grind - a cycle of over-functioning, over-delivering, and under-nourishing my own soul.

What finally woke me up wasn’t some big breakdown (though those came later).
It was the quiet ache. That sinking feeling when I laid down at night and thought:

Is this really all there is?

That question cracked something open.

This wasn’t just about work or stress; it was about how deeply I had abandoned myself in the name of keeping everything running.

And what no one tells you is this:
When you ignore your own needs long enough, it doesn’t just hurt you - it bleeds out into everything.

You snap at your partner.
You resent your kids for needing you.
You feel irritated, then guilty, then ashamed.

You love them deeply, but you’re stretched so thin there’s barely anything left to give.

It’s not a lack of love. It’s a lack of alignment.

But here’s what I found when I started paying attention and telling the truth to myself:

There’s a gap between the life you’ve built and the life you’re meant to live.

And the only way to get from one to the other is to walk The Bridge.

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What is the Bridge?

The Bridge of Transformation is the sacred middle.

It’s the uncomfortable, beautiful, necessary space between the “old you” and your aligned self - or what I call, your true self.

It’s not about blowing up your whole life overnight. It’s about learning to hear your own voice again… and trusting it.

On The Bridge, you begin to reprogram the patterns that kept you stuck in overworking, people-pleasing, and playing small.

You learn how to feel safe in your own body, instead of always bracing for the next crisis.

You give yourself radical permission to want more, need more, and become more - without apology.

The Bridge is where you stop abandoning yourself… and start reclaiming your power.

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Let’s start to cross The Bridge.

Begin here:

• Where do you notice resentment creeping into your relationships?

• When are those moments you want to scream, but instead, you swallow it down and come up with an action plan?

• When have you betrayed yourself to keep the peace?

• How often do you ignore your body and push through pain or fatigue?

• What’s one thing in your life you want to ask for, but that also scares the hell out of you?

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The Bridge isn’t easy.

It asks for your presence.

It asks for your honesty.

But it’s also where your power returns.

This is where you begin to remember who you are.

In my From Grind to Align e-book, I outline specific practices and exercises to help you cross The Bridge - gently, powerfully, and in a way that actually sticks.

Because this isn’t about a quick fix.

This is about making conscious decisions that give power to your voice, your needs, and your desires.

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Reflection

Tonight, before you go to bed, ask yourself one question:

What part of me have I been ignoring... just to keep everything running smoothly?

Don’t overthink it. Just notice what comes up.

That whisper?
That ache?
That spark?

This is the beginning of your bridge.

Now here’s the key:

Don’t just notice the answer.
Choose to do one small thing differently next time.

That one shift… no matter how small… is how you start walking The Bridge.
This is the path back to you.

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P.S. If this resonated…

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